Ep 15 | How to Reclaim Your Power in Relationships

In a recent Glam Chat, I sat down with Dr. Denise Simpson, a brilliant dating expert, and my incredible operations manager, Mic, to dive deep into the world of relationships.

Mic's journey as a single mom navigating the complexities of modern dating sparked a powerful conversation about self-awareness, breaking free from toxic patterns, and ultimately, reclaiming your power in love.

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The Importance of Self-Reflection

As Mic bravely shared her story, it struck me that the key to transforming your relationships lies in doing the inner work. "Going through that divorce really made me sit with myself," Mic revealed. "It made me ask, 'How do I put myself first? What do I need to do differently?'" This self-reflection is where the magic happens, my friends.

Dr. Simpson dropped a truth bomb when she said, "Let's have some honesty with ourselves. Let's look at those patterns and those experiences without the shame." It's about approaching our past with curiosity and compassion, so we can uncover the wounds and beliefs that shape how we show up in relationships.

Tips for Self-Reflection:

1. Set aside dedicated time for introspection, free from distractions.

2. Write down your relationship patterns and experiences without judgment.

3. Ask yourself, "What can I learn from this?" instead of dwelling on shame or regret.

Identifying Your Relationship Wounds

One of the most powerful moments of the conversation was when Dr. Simpson asked, "How would you show up if you didn't have that wound?" Talk about a perspective shift! Mic opened up about her fear of rejection and abandonment, saying, "It's something I'm very proactive about recognizing. If I don't hear from a guy I've been dating for a day, I start to make up stories that he's just not into me anymore." Can you relate? I know I can.

Insights for Identifying Wounds:

1. Notice when you feel triggered or reactive in relationships.

2. Trace those emotions back to their earliest roots.

3. Be gentle with yourself as you acknowledge and validate your wounds.

The Dating Dance:
Mastering the Push and Pull

Dr. Simpson dropped some serious wisdom about the role of energy in relationships. "It's like this dance," she explained. "It's the push and the pull. You are controlling the narrative." Mind blown! Mic had an aha moment when she realized that by pulling back her energy when someone was inconsistent, she could take back her power. No more chasing after emotionally unavailable partners, my friends!

Tips for Mastering the Dating Dance:

1. Pay attention to the energy you're bringing to your interactions.

2. When someone pulls away, resist the urge to chase. Instead, focus on yourself.

3. Trust that the right person will match your energy and effort.

The Ten Dude Rotation:
Mixing Things Up

Now, let's talk about the "Ten Dude Rotation." When Dr. Simpson first brought it up, I was like, "Wait, what?" But hear me out. It's about exploring your options, gaining clarity on what you want, and keeping your power in the dating game. As Dr. Simpson put it, "You get to say, 'Actually, I'm going to kick this one out of the rotation because I'm just not feeling it anymore.'" Boom!

Insights for Exploring Your Options:

1. Give yourself permission to date multiple people until you find the right fit.

2. Use the contrast to gain clarity on what you truly want in a partner.

3. Remember, you are the one in control of your dating life.

From Fear to Freedom

Watching Mic's transformation throughout our conversation was truly inspiring. "I'm learning not to care about whether people like me or want to spend time with me," she shared. "That's been a huge part of my growth." Yes, queen! Dr. Simpson nailed it when she said, "You have control and power in the dating landscape. It's not about manipulating the dude; it's about you having the control."

Tips for Cultivating Self-Worth:

1. Practice self-love and self-care daily.

2. Surround yourself with people who lift you up and support your growth.

3. Celebrate your accomplishments and unique qualities.

Your Call to Action:
Reclaim Your Power

If you're ready to break free from toxic relationship patterns and reclaim your power, here's your action plan:

1. Get real with yourself. Take a deep dive into your past and identify the wounds and beliefs that are holding you back.

2. Challenge those limiting stories. Ask yourself, "How would I show up if I didn't have this wound?"

3. Be mindful of the energy you bring to your interactions. Remember, you have the power to set the tone.

4. Give yourself permission to experiment and explore what truly lights you up in a relationship.

5. Develop an unshakable sense of self-worth. Your value is not determined by someone else's opinion of you.

By putting these insights into action, you can start to transform your relationships from a place of fear and wounding to a space of empowerment and genuine connection. And remember, my loves, it all starts with you.

So, there you have it! Your ultimate guide to reclaiming your power in relationships. Shoutout to Dr. Denise Simpson and my girl Mic for dropping some serious wisdom in this Glam Chat. Now it's your turn to take these insights and run with them. Let's do this!